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Web during courtship, couples typically “work on” their relationship by withholding or camouflaging their. Hopefully it’s obvious that this advice is only for those. Web defining a self while in a relationship. Web you can work on yourself and maintain your identity in a relationship by carving out ‘me’ time, upholding your values, developing. How to become one’s own person even when in a relationship. Web you really do need to work on yourself and become more peaceful in your own skin, with your own thoughts, before you place that. Think first about yourself, then about your partner.